5 Old Money Etiquette Hacks for Aspiring Models

When I first stepped into the fashion world, I thought the hardest thing would be nailing my runway walk or getting scouted in a sea of look-alikes. But behind closed doors — the ones that lead to private dinners, designer previews, and luxury events — what really mattered wasn’t just how I looked. It was how I behaved.

In the world of old money elegance, it’s never loud, it’s never flashy. It’s about subtle poise, gentle confidence, and etiquette that speaks before you do. No one tells you this on your first test shoot, but modeling isn’t just about wearing the clothes. It’s about living the part — even when the cameras aren’t rolling.

So here it is, from someone who learned it at castings, after-parties, and those quiet, candle-lit dinners with agency reps and fashion editors — my 5 essential etiquette hacks every aspiring model needs to exude true old money grace.

1. Master the Art of Elegant Dining (It Starts with the Fork)

The first time I had dinner with a couture client in Paris, I watched a girl lose a campaign — over how she ate her bread. Yes, really.

Old money elegance is about understated finesse, and nothing reveals more about you than how you eat. Here’s what I’ve learned:

Napkin Rule: As soon as you sit, place it on your lap — folded once, crease facing your waist. Dab, don’t wipe.
Bread Etiquette: Never bite directly into a roll. Tear a small piece, butter it discreetly, eat that.
Silverware Decoding: Always work from the outside in. If you’re unsure, wait for the host to begin.
Posture at Table: Sit up straight, elbows off the table, wrists gently resting near your plate when not eating.
Wine Glasses: Hold from the stem, never the bowl — it preserves the temperature and looks effortlessly polished.

Tip: Watch videos from Debrett’s or The English Manner. They teach you exactly how royals and ambassadors are trained — and trust me, it’s more useful at a Milan dinner than you’d expect.

2. Speak Softly but Say Something Real

You don’t need to be loud to be heard.

During castings and backstage chaos, I used to think I had to charm everyone with stories. But old-money energy thrives in quiet confidence. It’s the girl who speaks slowly, looks you in the eye, and asks thoughtful questions who gets remembered.

Here’s how to elevate your conversation game:

Avoid over-sharing. Mystery is magnetic.
Ask questions that invite stories. (“How did you get started with Valentino?” will always land better than “Who’s the most famous person you’ve styled?”)
Speak from the diaphragm, not your nose or throat. It sounds more poised and calm.
Practice ‘listening eyebrows’ — gently lifted brows while listening makes people feel heard and respected.

Model Speak Hack: Replace fillers (“like”, “um”, “you know”) with thoughtful pauses. You’ll instantly sound more refined — and feel more in control.

3. Posture: The Silent Power Move

Old money women — whether they’re sipping espresso or watching polo — all seem to glide instead of walk. That illusion? It’s posture.

In fashion, posture isn’t just about looking good in photos — it’s how you enter a room, command respect, and make clothes work harder for you.

Try this trick:

Imagine a string lifting your head to the ceiling.
Shoulders roll back, not stiff — just relaxed and open.
Core gently engaged.
Walk with shorter, deliberate steps, not runway strides — save those for the actual show.

At a table: Keep your back off the chair. Sit slightly forward when listening. Cross ankles instead of knees. These nuances whisper: I was raised with care.

Want to train posture subtly? Try ballet-based movement classes like Port de Bras or use the Elegance With Victoria YouTube channel — it’s posture therapy wrapped in grace.

4. Dress Like You Belong — Without Saying a Word

Yes, modeling is about fashion — but modeling old money energy is about restraint. Here’s the formula I follow:

Fabrics over logos: A well-fitted linen blazer from COS speaks louder than a Gucci T-shirt.
Muted palettes: Think soft creams, navy, dusty rose, charcoal, ecru. The rich don’t shout in color.
Tailoring is king: Even a $20 thrifted blazer (like my Chanel-style one) can feel luxe if it hugs right.

Shoes & Bags Rule: They don’t have to be designer — but they must be clean, structured, and quietly elevated. Brands like Charles & Keith or Polène Paris give off that expensive whisper without needing a $2000 budget.

Beauty Tip: Avoid heavy contouring or lashes. Choose natural glow, clean nails, and signature perfume. Mine’s Chanel No. 5 L’Eau — lighter, fresher, timeless.

5. Know When to Exit With Grace

Here’s an etiquette tip no one tells you: knowing when to leave is just as important as how you arrive.

Whether at a shoot, dinner, or industry event, the most elegant models don’t linger awkwardly. They exit like they have somewhere meaningful to be — with purpose and politeness.

Say something simple but elegant:

“Thank you for a lovely evening, I’m so grateful for the conversation — I’ll see you soon.”

Smile. Eye contact. Don’t over-apologize or explain why you’re leaving. Graceful exits protect your mystique — and that’s priceless.

Final Touch: Always send a thank-you message within 12 hours. Keep it brief, personal, and typed — not a voice note. Bonus if you reference something specific from the conversation.

Why This Matters More Than Ever

Modeling isn’t just a job. It’s performance art. And in today’s social media-saturated culture, where anyone can look rich, it’s how you carry yourself that sets you apart.

Agencies, clients, and brands notice the model who knows how to speak with grace, eat with dignity, and leave an impression without needing a loud outfit or an Instagram following.

Old money etiquette isn’t about acting better than anyone — it’s about acting like everyone matters.

Final Words from the Fitting Room

If you’re just starting out, remember: you’re not expected to know all of this at once. I didn’t. I learned from mistakes — from spilling water on a designer’s sketchbook (still hurts) to nervously over-talking at a Paris brunch.

But every time I chose stillness over stress, or kindness over cleverness, the universe met me with more grace than I gave it.

So, sip your sparkling water slowly. Ask the older stylist about her favorite collection. Stand tall. Smile small. These are the moments that add up to legacy.